I feel the most important part of my job is helping people get at the heart of their life’s motivations. Why do we work? Why are we planning for the future? Why do we save for our children’s college education? I think that understanding motivation is the most basic and beginner-level requirement of being a good advisor.
Most every person I meet quickly tells me that their primary motivation for all of their work and saving is for the love of their family. Most every person I meet says that they want to provide for their family, to give them opportunities, and to deliver safety and security. But then I get to take a closer look at exactly how people are actually living and then the real work begins.
Most people I meet with aren’t living like they are pursuing their own motivation. This is what I see more often than not:
Expressed Motivation | Behavioral Reality |
I work for my family’s security | I’m miserable at my job I’m a total grump at home |
I save for my kids’ college opportunities | I’m not home for dinner much and don’t see my kids |
I want to teach my kids good lessons & habits | I keep adding to unnecessary credit card debts |
I want a closeness with my spouse | We never do anything together |
I want retirement-years free time with my spouse | Our money + other stresses are hurting our marriage now |
I am certainly no touchy-feely counselor or preacher for exactly how people should live and I have no expertise or recipe for making everything work perfectly. But I have been blessed with many clients who trust me to help them with their financial planning. This means I get to help them identify what they want and then work alongside them over the years to help them achieve it. This blessing and experience has showed me how often we all occasionally lose sight of what we desperately want to believe are the most important things to us. I wish it were less common, but it is what I see.
So ask yourself first “What are the most important things in my life?” and then take a look at two things: 1) your checkbook, and 2) your calendar. Is how you are living working toward making you happier? If not, the good news is that there is nobody stopping you from making a change!
